I can honestly say I love both my parents the same. I’ve been lucky enough to have two people who love each other, my brother, me and our children more than anything.
With that being said, the one person in my life who has always been my person is my dad. Maybe it is the dad-daughter thing, maybe it is we have the same temperament, maybe we find the same things interesting but ever since I was a little girl, he’s always been the person I could count on most.
When I started blogging six years ago before many people knew about fashion blogs, everyone thought I was nuts posting pictures of myself in clothes but my dad was the one person who supported me. He has always listened to my crazy ideas and would do anything he could to help me obtain my dreams.
So when my dad got sick last year out of nowhere without a diagnosis, it was very hard for me. I felt so helpless that he felt so defeated without any hope in sight. I drove him back and forth from the city, taking him to every doctor, hospital, specialist to get answers. Then there were the days were I had just come to terms with the fact that this was the end and we all prepared ourselves for the worst.
Then out of nowhere the strictures in my dad’s bile ducts disappeared and he started to feel better. The doctors couldn’t believe it and were stunned just like we were but because the strictures had been there for so long, the lack of nutrients and blood to my father’s liver had caused it severe damage. He would need a new liver but because of his age and without a proper diagnosis, the chances of him getting one were very slim unless he had a living donor.
A living donor has to be under 55, in good health and have the same blood type which I am. I went into the city with my dad and talked with the doctor about possibly giving my dad a piece of my liver. His doctor is a lovely woman my age who just lost her father and when I asked her if she was me, would she donate part of her liver and her response was one I would never forget. She said she would give anything to have her father back.
After that appointment I was adamant about giving my father a piece of my liver. It was his only option to survive and after all, he has done everything for me my whole life. This was a no brainer. Then things got heavier and I learned it was a 7 hour surgery, I was going to be in the hospital for a week and out of commission for a month. All I could think about were my children. Wonder if something happened to me, who would take care of them? Was it worth risking my life for my fathers?
The amount of anxiety I felt throughout all of this was unsurpassable and I found myself tossing and turning all night wondering what the right decision was. The worst part about all of this was seeing how distraught it made my dad. He didn’t want me to go through this, that was the last thing he would want but of course he wanted to live to see his grandchildren grow up.
My father continues to heal and get better but will never truly be 100% without a liver transplant. I am going through all the testing now to make sure I’m healthy enough and anatomically a match for him. This way if my dad’s health starts to go down hill fast, I can donate if need be. I pray and hope he continues to feel well and when or if the time comes where I have to make a decision, even though it will be very hard, I know I will be prepared to make the right one.
And on a lighter note, here are some sweaters and skirts I’m crushing on.
