On Friday, I watched a clip of Meghan Markle taking about how vulnerable she has felt after becoming a new wife and mother all while getting constant scrutiny by the press. In my Instagram stories I posted a clip from The Daily Mail a month ago that really upset me. Meghan was holding her new born baby awkwardly and the title of the article was “New Mum Meghan doesn’t know how to carry her own baby”.
When I read this, it immediately struck a cord within me and I couldn’t help but feel for Meghan Markle. If you have been following along since my first blog, Joey and the Owl, you will know that my whole purpose for starting a blog was to have a creative outlet to overcome the overwhelming vulnerability I felt as a new mom. I will never forget when Joey was born, we lived in NYC and I was dead set on breastfeeding my baby but he never latched on. I went to one breastfeeding consultant to the next, nobody could get him to feed. So I spent countless hours, pumping, feeding, cleaning only to have to pump again.
My husband works in finance and works long hours and he would come home at night, I would still be in my pajamas, pumping and crying my eyes out. My parents came and stayed in my apartment and tried to reason with me to switch to formula but if you know me well, once I get something in my head, there is no talking me out of it. I was determined to give my baby what was best for him and in my mind, that was breastmilk.
I remember one time we walked to Fairway, the local market on the Upper West Side and I had Joey in the baby Bjorne. I had just about finished grocery shopping when he started to erupt. I waited in line, trying to bounce him, while he screeched on the top of his lungs. I remember some old lady behind me getting mad and rolling her eyes at me so I left all my groceries there and cried the whole way home. Hadn’t she ever had a child that cried?
I started to spiral out of control and my emotions and anxiety were at an all time high. My parents and husband convinced me to go and see a therapist that specializes in postpartum depression. That is when I met my life line, Dr. Smith. She convinced me to stop breastfeeding, talked me off the ledge and made me feel like I was a good mom. To this day even though I haven’t had postpartum in years, I still trek into the city to see her because I really feel like she saved me life. I often think about mothers who don’t have money for therapy or a husband or parents who can give them support, how do they survive? How do they cope alone? Then I think about Meghan Markle who has the whole world watching her, waiting for her to fail, comparing her to Kate and the pressure must be insurmountable.
I don’t care if Meghan Markle is royalty, I don’t care who she is, she’s a human being who has feelings just like the rest of us and I applaud her for telling the world she is struggling. I truly think the world would be a better place if people talked more about their struggles. Kate Middleton walking out after having a baby looking like she never did in heels and a dress, is not how most of us feel after having birth. I mean no disrespect by that but if you gave birth the day before, you are most likely wearing a diaper and sweatpants. So Kate has an image of perfection to display as the future queen but the true noble person is Meghan for not showing up the day after looking perfect. True nobility is showing your faults and vulnerabilities, not your perfectionism. 
